Review my essay and give me pointer on how to improve!

Review my essay and give me pointer on how to improve!
The woman from “In the Park” by Gwen Harwood realizes she has been forgotten in the wake of having children and is no longer who or what she used to be.
The onset of the poem states “She sits in the park. Her clothes out of date. Two children whine and bicker, tug her skirt. A third draws aimless patterns in the dirt” (Harwood ll. 1-3). This leaves us to assume that the woman is wearing older clothing and her children’s needs are ahead of her own, as is so common in the roles of mother and child. They are likely in newer clothing and well taken care of. The children are needy and distracted with their own lives at the expense of the mother, who likely has a yearning desire for something more at this point in her life, even though her children are likely the most important thing to her in this world.
When people have children, it is often the case that their priorities shift and the children go to the top of that list. Fathers do assist in taking care of the children, however, the brunt of the caregiving is often shifted to the mothers. In the shift, the needs of mothers often come after everyone else’s, even those of the father.
As the mother and children sit in the park a former lover passes by, “Someone she once loved passes by – too late” (Harwood l. 4). It feels as though she tries to avoid him, but it is not something that happens. They speak of the children and how things have changed in a casual conversation. He notices what she has become, how she has let herself go. She simply is not what she used to be to him any longer. Their conversation is polite and pleasant, but it dulls. She can practically see his former image of her dissolve as he takes in this new one. She is self-conscious but tried to put on a good face and act as though she is still her and the children are a prize to that. They are a blessing, the best thing that ever happened to her. While this is true, there are likely also times she just wants to scream on the inside, but who can she tell?
As the former flame leaves, she is still trying to convince someone, herself or maybe even him that the children are lovely gifts. Ultimately, she gives in to her real feelings. The children have eaten her alive. She is a shell of her former self. She no longer has her own identity. Who is she anymore? Who has she become other than a handmaiden for young and selfish children?